Wednesday, April 10, 2002
I was just talking to Paul and he asked me how my week is going. I told him "fine" and then I stopped for a moment. It's more than "fine". It is calm and wonderful. Monday started out like shit for a number of reasons, but yesterday was better and today is just MAHvelous. It has been a beautiful week weather wise, work hasn't been too bad, and as Mary J. Blige would sing: "No more drama in my life." I have been in contact with quite a few friends, my family, and even those that I had separated from for one reason or another. I feel happy. I feel alive. I feel good.
Unfortunately, Paul is not doing so good. He is lonely without his Mariah already and she doesn't even move for another month. He also went on and on about how without Mariah, he feels like he really has nothing. I left him, she is leaving him, it's a tough situation. How do I say "Come here and be with me" any other way than I have already? I hate feeling so good when he feels so bad. He deserves better than that. I can give him better than that.
Uggles.
In any case, Rita and I are going to lunch soon. Probably at The West End. She has got to be chomping at the bits to see her parents tonight! So exciting!!! She and I had a wonderful talk last night (not that all talks aren't wonderful) and I think that is contributing to how calm I feel right now. Even when she has other shit going on, she has time for me and that is so important.
Unfortunately, Paul is not doing so good. He is lonely without his Mariah already and she doesn't even move for another month. He also went on and on about how without Mariah, he feels like he really has nothing. I left him, she is leaving him, it's a tough situation. How do I say "Come here and be with me" any other way than I have already? I hate feeling so good when he feels so bad. He deserves better than that. I can give him better than that.
Uggles.
In any case, Rita and I are going to lunch soon. Probably at The West End. She has got to be chomping at the bits to see her parents tonight! So exciting!!! She and I had a wonderful talk last night (not that all talks aren't wonderful) and I think that is contributing to how calm I feel right now. Even when she has other shit going on, she has time for me and that is so important.
